Sophia's Birth Story

I’m already finding these memories slip from my mind (as I write this at 7 months postpartum), but the memories that are still there are so very sweet. I will forever consider Sophia’s birth one of the best days of my life.

On December 24th, when I had one of my final OB appointments. I was 1 CM dilated and 25% effaced, which starts the beginning of Sophia's birth story.  

My parents arrived on Christmas Day, to celebrate the Holiday and await Baby Groves' arrival. Aside from it being the celebration of Jesus' birth (who would become the Savior of the world by dying for our sins), the 25th also marked a special day for me; it was the day that I told myself I could officially try different methods to induce myself. I really wanted my mom to be there for our baby's birth, so I purposefully didn't try anything before she arrived. On Christmas day I started to lose my mucus plug and bloody show and had increased pressure in my lower abdomen. This being my first pregnancy, I thought I would be in labor in the next day. Ha! I was wrong.

My contractions officially started early morning on Monday, January 6th, 2020. It was a very slight crampy feeling that was inconsistent and didn't increase in intensity. At my 39+5 week appointment that day, I got my membranes stripped and found out I was 2 CM dilated and over 50% effaced. I was so excited about the possibility of labor starting after two weeks of trying to induce myself with lots of walking and raspberry leaf tea. The cramps slightly increased in intensity throughout the night and around 4:30 AM on January 7th, 2020, I woke up to use the bathroom. Before I peed, I felt some liquid come out. This made me curious so I decided to go back to bed and see what happened over the next few hours. At 6 AM, the same thing happened and I had soaked through a panty liner. At this point I'm pretty sure that the leaking was amniotic fluid. I was very excited because I've been waiting for some progress for days! I then "calmly" let Colton and my mom know what was going on and we decided that Colton shouldn't go in to work, just in case this was the real deal. At 8 AM, I called the hospital and they suggested coming in, with my hospital bags all packed, and having my fluid checked.

Our last photo before being admitted at OHSU.

Part of me wanted to delay going in (with the hopes of being able to labor mostly at home) because I knew if it was amniotic fluid that I would be required to stay there. The other part of me was just so excited that something happened that I wanted to "get the party started." The latter won out. The three (or four if you count my womb baby) of us made the quick drive to OHSU and arrived at the labor and delivery triage around 10 AM. It must have been our lucky day because out of five other women, we were the only ones with a positive reading of amniotic fluid. At this point I was still at 2 CM and roughly 75% effaced.

Before being moved from triage to the labor and delivery suite, one of the attending physicians strongly suggested getting me started on Pitocin since my contractions hadn't increased in intensity or frequency and the risk of infection increases after your water has broke. I wanted so badly to have a completely un-medicated birth and having them immediately suggest Pitocin made me very discouraged. I read books, I practiced meditation, I had affirmations to repeat to myself. I wanted a chance to utilize the tools I had gathered before resorting to this intervention. She gave us some time to think it over while we were being admitted.

I strongly believe I was meant to have this specific day-shift nurse. She sat down next to me and asked me why I was crying and why I didn't want Pitocin. She unbiasedly explained the pros and cons of this medication and told me that it was 100% okay for me to decline it; I had the power to say "no" or "I'd like to wait a bit longer." She gave me this pep talk at least two times after the physician discussed Pitocin with us. Around 12 PM, the physician recommended giving Pitocin at 4:30 PM if there was no progress.

During these few hours, I walked around the room, did many squats, ate food to keep my energy up, and used my breast pump to hopefully stimulate contractions. When the doctor came back (with minimal progress on my end), we asked again to push back the Pitocin until 6 PM. We finally came to the decision that we had given my body a good shot at getting started on its own, but realized that I just needed a little jump start to get things moving.

At 6 PM, I received 2 milli-units / minute of Pitocin and this is just what I apparently needed. My contractions started to get stronger. Over the next four and a half hours they increased my Pitocin to 3 (8:15 PM), back down to 2 (9 PM), and took me completely off (10:20 PM). At some point during these few hours, the night-shift nurse helped me perform some spinning baby exercises such as getting on my hands and knees and pulling up on my lower abdomen with a sheet during the contraction. She also had me lay on my side and stretched my leg muscle for a few contractions. Neither of these felt very good, unfortunately.

Colton was the best support; making me laugh, massaging, and reminding me that I am strong and I can do this. In our pre-birth class we were taught that you’re fully relaxed when you can blow horse lips without laughing. Colton “made” me do this more times than I can count. Shout out to Barb Buckner-Suarez on teaching a fantastic birth class. We highly recommend taking a class from her, she is hilarious!

Despite all the work I was doing, at 11:25 PM I was only at 3 CM and 90% effaced. I felt very discouraged that I was only at a 3, despite the pain I was starting to feel. 11:45 PM they broke the remainder of my waters as that hadn’t happened on its own.

The contractions were coming on so strongly that I was having a hard time breathing through them. I don't remember this, but Colton said I was starting to hyperventilate. In our birth class, the instructor suggested having a specific code word for when you want medication. This code word should not be something you commonly say to avoid having it slip into the conversation. At 12:30 AM I told Colton "cotton candy" and asked what medication I could have. I chose to completely skip the Nitric Oxide and went straight to Fentanyl. Apparently I kept asking when it was supposed to start working and when I could have more it. I was 4 CM dilated when I received the second dose (1 AM). Unfortunately, the only thing that medication did for me was make me dizzy. Due to my contractions being so painful, I was moving around a lot and the physicians were having a hard time deciphering the fetal monitor. They weren't sure if the baby's heart rate was dropping from my movements or from something more serious. At 1:17 AM, they decided that I needed to have a Fetal Scalp Electrode attached to the baby's head to better monitor what was happening. Sadly, the Fentanyl still didn't even touch my pain, so at 1:25 AM I requested the Epidural and received that at 1:40 AM.

God knew just what I needed because the nurses said I had one of the best anesthesiologists. He was able to insert the epidural quickly and with minimal pain. It was perfect! I didn’t have any pain pockets but I could still feel the pressure and know when a contraction was happening. This ended up being the best thing I could have done for myself as Colton and my mom witnessed me singing the epidural’s praises. ;) If you didn't know, with an epidural, there is a button close by that you can press and it allows you to get more of the pain medicine. Colton reminded me that at the beginning, I would press it as soon as it allowed me to. Eventually, I paid less attention to getting more relief and more attention to when the baby was coming and how I was progressing towards pushing. I can’t quite remember, but I think after the epidural, they also gave me a catheter, since I was going to be numb for a while. ;) At some point, I requested jello and vomited from the epidural working its magic. These details are quite hazy, so after every important thing that occurred my mom or I would write it down.

Once the epidural kicked in, I told my mom and Colton to try and get some sleep. Colton curled up on the hospital cot and my mom snuggled in bed with me. I wasn’t able to really sleep (too much excitement about meeting my baby), but thank the Lord, I was able to rest from 2:30 AM - 6:30 AM. These few hours were glorious as I only felt a tiny bit of pressure, but zero pain. It was at this time that I decided for my next birth I was definitely getting the Epidural sooner. We'll see if I still think that way for baby number 2. Ha! As I write this, 7 months postpartum, the memory of all the pain has disappeared and I will probably try again for an un-medicated birth. At 6:30 AM, they checked my progress (twice to confirm) and I was at 9 CM; also feeling some pressure in the bum area with contractions. They checked me again at 9:45 AM and I was ready to go! One of the best surprises was having my OB walk in and say that she would be delivering our baby. Pretty sure I cried. It was such a wonderful surprise having her be there for our baby’s birth.

This also wasn't in my plan, but since I was already laying down, at 10 AM, I opted to push horizontally as opposed to trying to get in a more vertical position while still feeling the epidural. At this point, it just seemed easier to me to stay in my current position, especially if it was working for me. Our OB did a fantastic job explaining to me how to push and where to focus pushing - not in my head but instead where the baby / contraction was. Looking back on this experience, the pushing might have been my favorite part of the birth. It definitely wasn't as painful as the pre-medicine contractions (thanks Epidural!).

I loved having the option to look in the mirror and see my progress. Touching my baby's head was surreal and motivated me to keep going. Colton and my mom started tearing up at this point. Colton remembers thinking how crazy it was to see the head and said it looked a lot bigger than he thought it would. LOL.

After an hour of pushing, Sophia Mae Groves was born at 11:15 AM, weighing 7 pounds 7 ounces and 19.25 inches long. Once they placed the baby on my chest for skin-to-skin and wiped the baby off, Colton was looking to determine the gender. He first saw the umbilical cord and said, “It’s a (paus out of confusion)…GIRL! It was a beautiful moment and we both cried happy tears.

I was curious to see if she did the “breast crawl,” which is an instinct that God gave to babies to move towards the breast for feeding. It is so amazing that our Creator designed babies with so many innate abilities. After a few minutes, sure enough, she made her way to her food source. She was also born practically sucking her hand, especially within the first hour she almost had her whole fist in her mouth. The nurses said that was amazing and she could already help self-soothe. I find it so amazing that babies are born with these instincts! While we breastfed, I delivered the placenta and got stitched up. I was hoping to make it out of this birth with no tears, but unfortunately, I had a 2nd degree tear and a periurethral tear. They thought I may have ruptured one of the veins, so they placed some gauze and determined it was fine after that. Oh well! Whatever it takes to bring my baby earth side. ;)

Post-catheter removal, it is important that you are able to pee on your own. I’m sure this is very common, but I wasn’t able to pee, despite chugging a whole bunch of water. They did have to re-insert the catheter to drain the build-up of liquid. It is such a weird feeling knowing you have to use the bathroom, but your body just won’t do it. Later that afternoon, I succeeded!

About an hour or so after delivery, we packed up our belongings, they sat me in a wheelchair, and they placed our fresh baby girl in my arms; off to the mother/baby unit we went. I felt so proud, being wheeled down the halls with my brand new baby. I wish I had a photo from this moment!

If you knew Colton before we had Sophia, he did not like holding any babies, because he was afraid of "breaking" the baby. Once our baby was born, he immediately wanted to continuously hold her. We all made sure to do as much skin-to-skin contact as possible and Colton came prepared with the strategically worn button up shirt. ;) My heart melted seeing him instantly bond with our new baby. 

Throughout our pregnancy we obviously discussed names, but we didn’t really decide on one for each gender until the last few weeks. We purposefully didn’t tell anybody our name options as we wanted to keep that to ourselves and have it be a sweet surprise. Later that evening, we rearranged the letters on our letter board and announced our baby’s name to my mom. Sophia Mae Groves; Sophia after my mom’s middle name. It was a very special moment seeing my mom witness her legacy passed down to our new daughter.

We had the best experience delivering at OHSU. The nurses exceeded my expectations by assisting me (multiple times) with learning to breastfeed; keeping my water / pellet ice cup filled to the brim; supplying me with timely pain medication; and checking on all of us. They also assisted us in changing diapers and even taught Colton how to do it. It was nice not being expected to change diapers immediately after giving birth. ;)

The food was also pretty decent, but everything needed salt (hehe). Our favorite thing to order was the berry cheesecake and being able to order two drinks per meal. We stocked up on Naked Juice as those are one of Colton’s favorite drinks.

We were blessed to have a few of our church friends visit us in the hospital; Kelsey, Chris, and Roger. We loved showing off our little girl.

When Sophia was in the womb, they noticed a calcification on her heart during her 20 week anatomy scan. In most cases, this isn’t anything to worry about, but they wanted to check it out post-delivery. Post-delivery, they also noticed her blood pressure was quite different between her legs and her arms, so they checked that every few hours. Shortly before being discharged, she received an echocardiogram (doesn’t she look so cute?) to see how her heart looked. They had heard a slight heart murmur and saw a few holes in her heart. Fortunately, they believe the holes will close up on their own and if they don’t, they’re small enough that they shouldn’t cause any issues. Thank you Lord! At Sophia’s 6 month appointment, they didn’t even hear the murmur anymore!

I’m not sure how many other hospitals do this, but OHSU has a photographer on staff who makes themselves available to take photos of all the new births. We thought it would just be photos of Sophia, so we didn’t do anything to get ourselves ready, but to our surprise, we were in the photos. We are real glad Colton had a nice shirt and I had a pretty robe (to be honest, the hospital gown was much more comfy, although not very attractive). Regardless of how disheveled our hair looks, I will forever cherish these photos.

Something I wish we would have learned to do before Sophia was born was wrapping the perfect swaddle. The nurses and the photographer were great at teaching us, but post-hospital stay, Colton and I both referred to his comical “Be Prepared” book (funny book for new dads with a boy scout theme) on how to do this. Can you tell who swaddled her for these photos? Definitely not us!

I remember sitting on the hospital bed looking at the slideshow the photographer had made with tears rolling down my cheeks. I could not believe that we had made this perfect angel baby. Despite Colton staging some of his own photos, he saw my tears and asked me if I thought we should purchase any of the photographer’s shots, as they were quite pricey. Through a flood of tears, I emotionally answered, “Yes. I NEED these photos!” I had never felt a love like this before. Sophia Mae captured my WHOLE heart!

Last on the list before being discharged was passing the car seat safety check and packing up all our things. Everyone told us to stay in the hospital as long as possible since you have food delivered to your room and the nurses to help you care for your baby. I am so glad we stayed as long as we did, but by the end of our stay we were ready to go home and learn how to navigate life with a baby.

It was a tremendous blessing being able to have my mom here for Sophia’s grand entrance. We also are so thankful for all of our friends who brought us home-cooked meals or gifted us GrubHub gift cards. We love each and every one of you dearly! THANK YOU!

In closing:

My birth “plan” (preferences): ZERO medication during labor, delivery, or postpartum; utilize the bathtub; and deliver our baby and placenta in a vertical (standing / squatting) position.

My birth reality: Given Pitocin to progress my contractions; requested fentanyl and then the epidural; did not use the bathtub because of the epidural; delivered in a horizontal position; and given more Pitocin for the placental delivery.

Sophia's birth turned out nothing like I imagined or had planned for and that is okay. Thank you God for entrusting us with this beautiful baby girl. It is our prayer that we can raise her in the ways of the Lord all the days of her life.

Sophia’s Monthly Updates:

Pregnancy | 1 Month | 2 Months | 3 Months | 4 Months | 5 Months | 6 Months | 7 Months |